Kanye’s Ad
1
I buy it.
I knew something was up when my phone rang at 3 in the morning. Nothing good happens in the middle of the night, on the phone anyway. My college roommate picked up the receiver to find out his younger brother had been killed in a car accident. Thirty years later, my best friend was on the line experiencing a Come to Jesus moment. In that he just could not handle all the havoc he’d wreaked.
I’d known the guy for twenty years, and didn’t suspect anything out of the ordinary until we heard Kay Redfield Jamison speak. She wrote the definite book on bipolar disorder, “An Unquiet Mind,” and after she was done talking my best friend’s wife told me that was him. I didn’t see it, but she was right.
He started to behave in a more and more grandiose fashion. He got into a fistfight with the manager of his club. And I won’t say my friend was the softest guy in the world, but this was completely unfathomable.
And then he proceeded to lose everything. His wife, his money, even his car got repossessed. But he wasn’t unduly annoyed, he was going to get his automobile back and he did and then…
The phone rang at 3 in the morning. Having been through my own troubles I stayed on the line. But I didn’t want to let him go, because he never turned the corner. He never loosened up. He just could not fathom what he’d done, the effect it had on people.
I told him to call his psychiatrist in the a.m., only a few hours away, but the doctor wouldn’t see him, because my friend owed him too much money.
And the phone rang at the same hour the next night. And there were calls thereafter. He just couldn’t believe what he’d done.
I was worried, this guy couldn’t be alone. He needed 24/7 attention. I suggested he go home, to the house he grew up in in another state, his mother was very compassionate.
He did. And a few nights later, as I was running out for the first Metallica show with their new bassist, the phone rang and it was him. I told him what I was up to. I spoke about the opportunities he’d have in the future, but he responded, “Not for me.”
That was a bit eerie. But I rushed out.
And that night my friend committed suicide. The next morning a mutual friend called and before he could even get the words out, I knew.
2
I’ve only met Kanye once. It was in Chris Martin’s dressing room, at the Forum. As you will remember, Kanye had gone on very late at Bonnaroo. I asked him about it. After all, conversation was free-flowing, Martin is the nice guy you see on stage.
And Kanye started talking in the third person. He said something like “Kanye does what he has to do.” And more like that. It was very weird. Very non-backstage, off the record and loose as it normally is. I realized this guy was different.
And he had his ups and downs thereafter. Well-publicized. But someone who worked with him told me he was diagnosed bipolar, but wouldn’t take his medication. Many people won’t. Because it flattens you out, it gets rid of the highs.
When you’re on a high you think you can conquer the world, do anything. Oftentimes when manic you need very little sleep. Furthermore, a lot of what bipolar people create when high is world class, trendsetting, definitive.
A high can last a matter of weeks, months, even years.
But then they crash. They always crash.
But those highs, they don’t want to give them up.
And they don’t want to believe anything is wrong with them either.
This is all well-documented, but most people don’t want to read the documentation, especially if they’re a man. You’re supposed to buck up and fly right. You don’t need the help of no stinkin’ doctor, never mind medication, that’s for wusses.
Only it’s not.
3
Now Kanye’s behavior was so out of control that even casual observers could tell he was mentally ill. Because no one acts this way unless they are. And for the record, an amazing number of artists/musicians are.
And in the process, Kanye lost not quite everything, but pretty damn close. He became a pariah, deservedly so. No one wanted to amplify his craziness.
As for what made Kanye seek help…
Was Kanye’s bipolar disorder caused by the car accident he references? It’s possible, but no one wants to believe they’re mentally ill, that the cause is themselves, their chemistry, they’re always looking for outside forces, explanations, to accept that they’re less than perfect is very difficult.
Not that it matters. There is a diagnosis and Kanye got treatment and appears to be on medication…which you have to take for the rest of your life, and many people stop.
As for the dig at those who diagnosed him autistic… You’ve got to know, mental health is not like orthopedics, it’s not as simple as diagnosing and setting a broken leg. There’s no definitive blood test. What you’ve got is doctors, psychiatrists, who quiz you, do their best to get a reading, and then prescribe drugs…sometimes they work, it’s a miracle cure, but sometimes you have to switch from one medication to another and the process is depressing unto itself. Because there are side effects. Some wear off in a few weeks, others never do.
But if you live in the big city, there are psychopharmacologists, who specialize in this. As a matter of fact, because of the low insurance reimbursement and the unwillingness of people to pay for therapy, most psychiatrists today do not do talk therapy, they just prescribe. And they’ve gotten better at it.
But most people get talk therapy from those without prescribing ability. Psychologists, social workers. And then there are those who believe they can shortcut the whole process by just asking their primary caregiver for an antidepressant, as if the psychopharmacologists have no special skill, not to mention almost always the pill is not enough, some quantity of talk therapy is needed to recover.
4
You cannot treat your own depression. As for your friends…they love you, they’ll tell you you’re okay, and oftentimes you are not. You need a professional.
But when it comes to bipolar disorder, the only thing that works is the medication, and if you don’t take it…
Right now, Kanye appears to be taking it.
Does he want forgiveness? Does he want to be embraced by the public once again? Of course. But that’s not the driving force here. It’s the recognition of the havoc he’s wreaked, the people he’s hurt, now that he’s stabilized he can see it, is mortified by it, and wants to come clean. Are we going to continue to penalize someone who has made the effort, is on the road to recovery and is completely honest about it? Why?
No, we should not. That does not mean you have to embrace Kanye. That does not mean you should not be skeptical of him in the future. That does not mean you should wipe the slate completely clean…
But this is not like an actor who makes a racist comment and goes to rehab. This is mental illness, and there’s no easy get out of jail free card.
Then again, many Americans don’t believe in mental illness, they think therapy and medication are unnecessary crutches. Oftentimes, they could benefit from such.
5
So, taking the ad in the “Wall Street Journal”…
I was surprised my inbox did not blow up about this today. But then I checked the Google news and the story has been covered, but…does everybody know? Does everybody care?
We don’t need any specific musical star. Just as long as we have some. George Michael killed his career with his Sony suit. Most people have a peak, that they can never reach again.
Never mind how hard it is to reach the peak to begin with.
So one can be cynical and say that the ad was in the “Journal” because that’s where the advertisers are, the movers and shakers of business, and it’s these people Kanye wants forgiveness from. I mean usually today you control your own narrative via X/Twitter, most people don’t even engage the mainstream press, that’s old school. As for full page ads in major publications…that’s for corporations, causes, not individuals.
So…
Give the man credit. For recognizing his faults and addressing them. That’s more than most people do.
And being honest and laying it all out in public, when the goal of most, celebrity or not, is to hide their flaws? Kudos.
And if we can’t forgive…
That’s the problem with America today, one false move and you’re out. Forever. People don’t want to go on the record, they don’t want to take the risk. Say the wrong thing and you’re excommunicated.
Kanye was excommunicated. Should he be embraced warmly? Once bitten, twice shy. Only in this case, it’s many times bitten.
But untreated bipolar disorder is a legitimate excuse.
But this screed is no guarantee Kanye will continue to take his medication, and if he doesn’t, all bets are off.
Kanye has to continue to earn our trust.
But he’s entitled to that.
He deserves the benefit of the doubt.
For now.


